Dear Possible Readers,
I apologize for the lack of blog post…..
My life has been a whirlwind, and I have seemed to have lost my writing ways, being tied up in the 8-5 “jobs.” I can only dream someday, that I can write full time someday.
This is going to be a different post from what you are used to hearing from me. I have had a lot of life lessons in the last few weeks and have slowly regained myself back to my normal inner being.
Sounds weird……but, I think we all get lost time to time.
Feeling as the week was sucking the blood from my neck as I raced around trying to satisfy, my family, my children, my equine and canine buddies, and of course work (2 works), I was feeling like I wanted to pull my hair out.
It is funny, how a small moment of your life, makes you look at life differently.
I had a patient come to my work place, a few years younger than myself. She was struggling with leukemia. She was so beautiful and just starting out in her life. At first it angered me, to think that someone with so many possibilities was going through such a struggle. You can’t help but wonder how or why the sickness chose them? And on another note, seeing her positive stance and how she gracefully carried herself made me feel mad at myself. For complaining that the coffee maker wasn’t working right, mad that one of the horses broke their water buckets, or trying to schedule pick up and drop off’s for my daughter’s little league practice and game. Or plainly mad, because I was still packing everyone’s next day activities until midnight the night before, not leaving me time to write.
I stopped myself, on the way home, trying to make the first inning of the game. I slowed myself down and looked at life a little differently. Looking at my stresses in life, realizing that all of those stressed are gift; I don’t have control of what tomorrow will bring, I only have control of what today gives. I spend most of my time trying to meet everyone’s needs and make everyone’s day easier. Which I don’t mind, because I remember the non-stop years of trying to have a baby. We were granted that gift twice, after I was told that I could never have children. So all those endless nights of high fevers and homework is a gift. It is what I wished for, and all of those crazy days treading water, was given to me and not taken away by something awful.
The last few months I have spent struggling to get through, when I soon realized that I was given those days, some maybe not so good, but others a wonderful treasure. Some do not know if they have a tomorrow and that is why they live each day as their last. What if we all lived life not for what we don’t want and make it into what we do want.
I am blessed to have what I have, and some may think I don’t have much to be so thankful for, but we all have come in this world through love and compassion, and the makes of a life. We leave this world with love and compassion, and the makes of memories.
So I chose to take in my daily routines and make the best of what I am able. Be proud of the accomplishments and not continue to struggle to get things out there.
I love to write……
I love to share my crazy stories, I worked through the dyslexia, now I just got to get through the self-worth. I need to think of everyday as a gift, and look at it as “What I have done” not “What I haven’t got to.”
It is a shame that we all need a sad story to realize what we want out of life. It is a wakeup call, and not sure why?
I do remember the first day that I met my husband, I will never forget holding my babies for the first time, and I will never let a bad day take what was giving to me for granted.
So on that note, I happiest when I am with my family. I am happiest when I write, and I am happiest when I explore Maine and find new things to write about.
So I am spending more time loving my family and writing, not taking up all of my time promoting and such.
I am taking some time off from networking and just writing and spend my time with the ones I love and what I love.
I have huge plans and you never know what tomorrow will bring….
I know this should have been a “Dear Diary” and not a bog post, but this is me. This is who I am and this is what inspires me to write and write well.
So I wish you all a Happy Reading and Happy Writing,
J.T. Brown
